See that orange light? See how it blinks and soothes the soul?.... No? You don't see it? Well put your fucking indicator on you moron.

In a space less than 24 hours (a nice way of saying "in one day", except that it is split over two calender days) I've have been almost hit by (from the relative comfort of my car) people who have no fucking idea how to use the little lever on their car to make little orange lights flash and tells other people where the hell they are going...

Case 1 : An everyday moron.

Driving home (along Blackburn road for the stalkers out there) in the right hand lane, listening to some music on the radio, keeping a respectful distance from the car in front of me, when, almost-whammo! A stupid bint from the left lane changes lane.... no indication, no indication, no indication that she looked or even cared if someone was in the other lane... So I had fun time of slamming my brakes on, almost locking up the wheels and generally having a no good time.


Less than a minute later (I kid you not), she changed lanes again, the same way, with the same result... except it was some other poor sap doing the breaking and clutching at chest type thing.


I call this the everyday moron, because sadly, I see this everyday.

Case 2 : Who me? A moron's tale...

On the way to work (running late) this morning, turning right from Blackburn Road into Highbury Road (the stalkers are getting a treat today huh?). I'm sitting there, lights green, waiting for a break in opposing traffic when lo and behold a gap! I engage first brain then clutch and fairly lurge into a reasonable sized gap (lurch you say? well anyone that has been a passenger with myself in Midget (my car) knows that the first gear take off can be a little, um.... traumatic at times...), as soon as I'm halfway through the first of two lanes I sense something is not right with the world of open lanes and easy right hand turns... FUCKbreakclutchINGBITCH


The BMW I saw with it's lovely indicator on about to turn left into Highbury road was in front of my car. The driver with a winsome face that sort of said "Who me? I wasn't turning". That is right, she wasn't turning, had no intention of turning, just the indication of turning...


So I'd like to end this rant, possibly one of the most useless of rants, by just asking people to use the indicators correctly... please?

If you turn and don't indicate, You are a fucking moron and I'm going to come around to your house and put a pickaxe through your spinal column [: