I was reading an article the other day in a magazine called "Melbourne Child". It talked about the problems the battle (often in undercurrent form) between parents and grandparents for the love of children. It went on the the way parents and grandparents treat the children, and how children often gravitate towards the grandparents. Strangely, all of this seemed obvious and not even slightly a problem. Of course the children like the people who don't have a strong discipline approach, who they see less and who give them things. But some parents have problems with this. "My children should love me more than anyone else!". And so we have conflict. More importantly, we have conflict due to a lack of empathy or understanding.



On the bulletin wall in the office is an article on the evils of E-mail (bear with me, there is a common thread here). It discusses how friendships are being destroyed through email. Formerly close friends have sent each other inadvertently hostile (or rude) emails, which the other has reacted to and soon we have a situation where people stop talking to each other.... for years. This, unfortunately, is not an exaggeration. Now, is there anybody else out there who thinks this is a bit dumb? If you get an email from someone that is out of character, then you reply asking if something is wrong. Normally this is the end. Alternatively you treat is as a joke (which it probably was), and, once again it's all over. But, once again, we fail to empathise, we fail to see things from the other person's point of view and so we get angry.



So why is it that we are always right and everyone else is wrong. Why is it that when we pull in front of someone it is because we made a mistake, but when they do it they are rude, selfish pricks who deserve to have their tyres slashed? Maybe if we stopped, and thought about what people do and wondered why we would be doing it if it was us, we would see that there is a good reason.
And the strange thing, the thing that keeps jumping out and biting me, is that people, in general are nice. They want to talk, they want to make friends, they want to please, it's just that most of us spend our lives scared of what might happen, and afraid of how we'll look. There's a lovely line that I hear people use a lot: "Why should I always have to make the first move?". And the answer is simple. Because someone has to, and if you want it, then it will probably have to be you.



I think I'll go sit down now.....




Sparker